Hurting and Losing
by KatKalamity
Summary: Jasper is hurting, he wants to find his mate like the rest of his family. When a chance encounter with a girl at an orphanage occurs, will this spell love? canon pairings, Adopted from MissEsme.


_**Jasper P.O.V**_

_I was running. the air was whipping at my face but I didn't feel it, being a stone cold vampire does that to you. My family finally trusted me enough to go hunting on my own and the feeling was exhilarating. I stopped for a second, I had smelt my favourite, elk. I ran towards the smell and crouched on a rock above the prey, it was drinking. Now for the best part._

_I pounced at the unfortunate creature and sank my teeth into it's flesh, it was soon drained._

_Digging the ground up I placed the animal's corpse into the hole and covered it up. I was done for the day. I started to head back to the house, deciding to take the long way, the way past the few shops and the orphanage. _

_My name is Jasper Hale Whitlock Cullen and I'm a vampire._

_Hard to believe, I know, I thought it was a joke when I woke up and found Maria staring at me. Disgusted by her enjoying drinking from humans and just how far she was willing to go to get me to be her mate was just two of the many reasons I left. I shuddered at the memory._

_**FLASHBACK**_

_I was sitting on my makeshift bed at the newborn training campus thinking about things when Maria came in unannounced wearing a skimpy nurse outfit and carrying a chair, some_ _duct tape and some rope (vampire resistant, a new invention of Maria's). I was to shocked at_ _the outrageous situation. I didn't move quick enough to avoid being bound to a chair_ _and duct tape being stuck over my mouth,_

_"Oh, no, poor Mister Whitlock, you look terribly sick, why don't you let this nurse look_ _after you?" Maria purred, or that's what I think she did._ _She then proceed to do terrible things to me until I somehow managed to get the duct tape_ _off my mouth to scream, _

_" HELP! THERE'S A CRAZY WOMAN ATTACKING ME!"_

_Of course this alarmed the newborns and they came rushing to my aid and pulled her off of me._

_**END FLASHBACK**_

I shuddered again.

Luckily I managed to escape the next day and I wandered around for 5 years. Just as I was starting to lose hope, I met the Cullen's. They were in the process of moving towns and I was so shocked of how many of them there where in their coven, I didn't think it possible to live in harmony with that many vampires in one group, but I was even more surprised when Carlisle told me of their eating habits.

I asked if I could become part of there family and they accepted me over time. Esme, Carlisle and Bella liked me from the start. They knew it was hard for me to stick to the diet. Emmett too accepted me and as I recall his first words to me were,

" So, do you know how to play Guitar Hero?"

Edward took a month, but trusted me because he could hear my good intentions in my thoughts, I'm glad I'm far from home otherwise Edward would be snickering at my thoughts right now. Rosalie took the longest to come around but really all it took for her to like me was to mention the fact that I knew a lot about cars.

My family were amazing but something was missing and I realized what it was a month ago.

A mate.

I didn't have one. It was almost unbearable to be around everyone when I could feel their love for one another. Oh, I forgot to mention, my power is empathy and Edward's is Mind Reading, that is really annoying, Bella's power is a mental shield so Edward can't read her mind, she even had the power as a human, so they tell me. On the day's Bella is bored or annoyed at Edward she will block our minds from him and piss him off.

"Are...are you all right young man?" A voice asked me.

I turned around to see a little old lady, if I were human I'd be blushing right now,

I hadn't even realized I'd stopped walking, I was receiving odd looks from people all around me.

"Sorry ma'am, I just blanked out for a second, thank you for that" I replied flashing her a smile, her heart rate didn't go up, for which I was thankful for, I didn't want a 60 year old woman hitting on me.

She smiled a kind smile and kept walking. I turned back around and started walking again. I was just passing a open window at 'Virginia Orphanage' when it hit me.

The most mouth-watering scent I'd ever smelt in my life. Both lives.

It smelt of honey and roses and it took all my self control not to storm in there and drain the child whose scent it belonged to.

Cutting off all air I walking quickly to a place where no-one would see someone running insanely fast. I got to an alleyway and took off faster than I'd ever gone before.

I reached the house and raced up to my room. I sat next to the window and took a few deep calming breaths, Edward who had seen everything in my mind was currently telling everyone downstairs what my problem was. Don't think of the delicious smell Jasper, don't think of the scent, honey and roses, don't think about going back and sucking the child's blood 'till it died.

I felt venom pooling in my mouth.

Too late.

I heard Esme come down the stairs.

"Are you all right dear?" She asked me.

"Fine" I muttered, not wanting to talk right now.

"It's okay Jasper, you should be proud, you didn't attack the child" She said.

"Yes, you should be, you didn't just resist killing a delicious smelling child, you managed not to attack your singer" Carlisle said.

My family nodded their heads in agreement, I hadn't even noticed them come into the room.

"Thanks guys" I whispered, "But I'm going for a walk, not near the Orphanage, in the woods"

With that I left the room and dashed outside, passing Esme's garden and running into the forest. I kept running until I reached a small clearing with a large rock in the centre. How convenient, I thought. I jumped onto the rock and began racking my brains for a solution. I wanted, no, needed to smell that scent again but not now, when I was sure I was strong enough. Although it had to be soon, what if the child got adopted? Yes, when I was sure I could handle it,

I would visit the Orphanage.

_A/N: Hello everyone! It's been so long since I have been on Fanfiction! I am so sorry for everyone who loves reading my stories, but I have been so busy I have just not had the time to update. I forgot to upload this chapter, I adopted this story from MissEsme and it is one of my favourites. I hope that you all love it as much as I do, I have made some changes but I think that they are for the better and I pray that you all enjoy this story I think it is so adorable! I hope to update Victim soon and I desperately need to catch up on my betaing! Please review, I love reviews (:_

_KatKalamity _


End file.
